Digging Deep for Self Love in Midlife

How can we love ourselves if we don’t recognize the woman in the mirror?

Midlife is a time when your brain, body, responsibilities, and identity shift over time. No one is really talking about it but they are definitely feeling it.

Many women feel disconnected and frustrated with their appearance. Their clothes fit differently. They have the daily reminder that they are not only making mental shifts, they are also experiencing physical shifts in their bodies, skin, and hair. Research from the National Institute of Health supports the fact that many women suffer from body image issues as they go through menopause.

Midlife can bring comparison triggers. We are hyper aware of our appearance because of social media, and our inner critic can go into overdrive, especially when we are under a lot of stress.

The problem is that our culture has trained women to equate their worth with their appearance. Saying an affirmation like “I am worthy” may feel hard to believe when we’ve been taught to measure our value by how we look.

We also struggle with our identity. Some women hit midlife and start feeling disoriented, numb, or unsure about their role in life, especially as mothers. And the women in high-paying jobs did what they were capable of and now they are exhausted, resentful, and stuck.

One of the hardest parts of going through menopause that I have found, is that the doctors tend to minimize or pass off our symptoms as normal or something to get through. This leads many women to experience “medical gaslighting.”

When your lived experience is minimized, it becomes harder to trust yourself and your feelings.

Midlife may be the season where you make a conscious shift to get real with how you feel. Dig deep and figure out what you need more of and what you can’t carry anymore.

If you feel like this is a time for you to become someone you have never been before, give yourself permission to believe in yourself.

You’re not alone and it’s ok to want more. As Stacy London said, “You should feel beautiful and you should feel safe. What you surround yourself with should bring you peace of mind and peace of spirit.” Wise words from a wise woman.