Do you know anyone that fits this description?

She is exhausted. She lies awake at night running through her to-do list, unsure how it will all get done. She is the first one up and the last one in bed. She says yes automatically. She would rather just do it herself because disappointing someone else feels worse than disappointing herself.

Is it me or does it feel a little weird not to be needed on a daily basis? I had no idea I would miss it.

For years, being a mother was the organizing principle of my life. It determined the shape and rhythm of my days. We based our year on the school calendar.  The first and last days of school determined two very different times of the year.  Drop off and pickup gave us a daily structure. We based our vacations, family get-togethers, weekends, and our meal plan around the school schedule.  

Now we’re starting over. And it feels a little wonky without that structure.

Last February, I decided to track my steps and the goal was to walk one million steps. I figured it would take about 100 days, in other words a little over three months of steady effort. Instead, it took 144 days, and I hit the millionth step in mid-July, 5 months later.  There were some days that I didn’t walk at all or I was so busy with other things that I didn’t count my steps.

Here’s one way to quantify walking one million steps based on my height - my 5’ 2”.  Beginning in Chincoteague, Virginia, and heading South, taking the scenic route and walking down the coast…

If you are the woman who is running on empty, giving everything to your family, career, aging parents, and/or your community, it’s ok to take care of yourself too. 

If you have made success your singular focus, and now you feel invisible and stuck, it’s ok to have dreams and figure out what you really want to do.

If your children have left home and the silence has given you space to think and explore your options, this is the time to do it.

When I was bemoaning being an empty nester, my friend told me this is the time when you can say Yes to everything! Sounds good to me!

I am not a traditional life coach. I am a Midlife Mentor.

This year Mother’s Day felt different.

Have you heard of Maycember? I heard it for the first time last week and it totally resonated with me. It’s the race to the end of the school year when parents (especially parents of Seniors in high school) are running around frantically, like in December, to go to all of the school events, sporting events - and graduation - but without holiday cheer. It is especially poignant because the Seniors are doing so many things for the last time. While our son is celebrating his “lasts,” I feel nostalgic, and sometimes cry, because his school days are almost over. I’m grieving his loss of innocence as he grows up and prepares to leave for college in a few months.