Thank you from the bottom of my sensitive heart for visiting my online home. I am so glad we connected.

My name is Betsy Seybolt and I am a Mindset and Motivational Coach.

This is where I share my thoughts about midlife, mindset, making small changes, healthy habits, and finally prioritizing what matters to you.

If you’re like me and you have gone through menopause or you’ve lost one or both of your parents, and maybe a friend or two, you might be at a turning point in your life. I am here to cheer you on as you go through midlife, especially if you are an introvert, an empath, or a people pleaser.

This year Mother’s Day felt different.

Have you heard of Maycember? I heard it for the first time last week and it totally resonated with me. It’s the race to the end of the school year when parents (especially parents of Seniors in high school) are running around frantically, like in December, to go to all of the school events, sporting events - and graduation - but without holiday cheer. It is especially poignant because the Seniors are doing so many things for the last time. While our son is celebrating his “lasts,” I feel nostalgic, and sometimes cry, because his school days are almost over. I’m grieving his loss of innocence as he grows up and prepares to leave for college in a few months.

Have you been quietly asking yourself, Now what?

For years, you knew what to do.  Your role was clearly defined. You showed up. You handled things and you kept going. It was all about being responsible and you were in it for the long game. 

And yet, many women tend to blame, complain, and feel ashamed, even if they’re not fully aware of it.

If it feels like your thoughts are harsher in midlife, you’re not imagining it.

Many women already feel frustrated physically and emotionally, and they are questioning who they are. To make matters worse, they are hyper critical of their worth, their life choices, and even their relevance, which can be a constant reminder of all the changes going on in their lives and those around them.

What you may not know is that your brain is not wired to be kind. It is wired for survival.

How can we love ourselves if we don’t recognize the woman in the mirror?

Midlife is a time when your brain, body, responsibilities, and identity shift over time. No one is really talking about it but they are definitely feeling it.

Many women feel disconnected and frustrated with their appearance. Their clothes fit differently. They have the daily reminder that they are not only making mental shifts, they are also experiencing physical shifts in their bodies, skin, and hair. Research from the National Institute of Health supports the fact that many women suffer from body image issues as they go through menopause.

I see this a lot in women who are very capable. They get stuff done because it is easier than asking someone else to do it. And they’re overextended because they don’t want anyone to feel disappointed.

Over time, being the dependable one can turn into being the one everyone depends on.

Many women stay in their jobs too long. Their role has become part of their identity: the seniority, the benefits, the predictability. It might look like the good life, but it’s a dead end.

Our son is graduating from prep school in May.  When I graduated, it was called “commencement.”  I think midlife is a commencement too.  As our children’s school days come to a close and our roles as mothers change, we can find closure with that part of our life, and we can begin again too.  We can finally take care of ourselves. 

Midlife isn’t a crisis.  It’s an opportunity to reimagine your future.

If you have been running on autopilot just to get through each day, are you ready to have more joy in your life?  You might have experienced the loss of a spouse, parent, or child. It’s a big change for everyone when grown children leave home.  If you have been taking care of everyone else first as a caregiver, partner, or in charge of 24/7 logistics and you are making the transition out of that stage, it may be time to think about what’s next for you.

Change is hard. Whether you have lost a loved one, become an empty nester, or reached career success and want to get more out of life, it can be difficult to move on. Yet shifting your perspective is what allows you to live more fully. If you are feeling unsure, here are a few ways to build your confidence.

When you say no to what depletes you, you say yes to what matters most: your health and your happiness.

Your needs matter. If you don’t prioritize yourself, no one else will do it for you.

Gratitude has been shown to boost happiness, improve mental health, and strengthen relationships. It’s a simple but powerful self-care practice that helps you focus on the little things in life that make you happy. It’s a great way to embrace the present moment and find joy in the here and now.

This may be an unpopular opinion but I believe happiness is a choice.  When I heard Thich Nhat Hanh’s quote, “Sometimes your joy is the source of your smile, but sometimes your smile can be the source of your joy,” I had to take a minute and let that sink in.  You can either look to external sources to find your joy or you can be the source of your own happiness.  I’m not saying that it’s easy, but when you learn how to find that contentment, you will find a long lasting joy.

Keep a reusable water bottle with you throughout the day as a visual reminder to drink your water. You can even set small goals, like drinking a glass before each meal, or putting out a glass for each glass of water you drink. 

Many of us are harder on ourselves than we’d ever be on a friend. We replay mistakes, focus on flaws, and let self-doubt take the lead. But what if you flipped the script? Positive self-talk isn’t about ignoring reality—it’s about choosing words that empower and uplift you rather than tear you down. 

Become immersed in all the good that Summer offers and do things that make you happy and feel alive. If you need any ideas, here are some great things to do that are good for your mind, body, and soul:

We are wired to think negatively.  It goes back to the beginning of mankind.  Everyone was fighting for their life and they were literally watching their back to defend themselves.  Survival is still important today but now it is your negative thoughts and limiting beliefs that can totally stop you in your tracks.  Instead of going into a complete downward spiral, you can do the opposite and ask "What if it all works out?" Instead of imagining all the things that could go wrong, envision how it would look if you could live the life of your dreams.

Spring brings a sense of renewal and it may be the perfect tine to evaluate how things are going. Are you clear about what matters most to you and are you living your life with purpose? We are one third the way through the year. Are you working toward a goal or have you been coasting? Do you think you need to wait for the perfect time to start? I have news for you. If you keep waiting, you won’t move forward. Sometimes, you just need to start.

Make a commitment to taking care of yourself, just like you do for others.  Recognize that by taking care of your well-being, you are well equipped to care for those around you without compromising what’s important to you.  You’re creating a ripple effect of positivity in the lives of those around you by taking time for yourself.  When you feel grounded and fulfilled, you have more to give—whether it’s love, attention, or support. It’s time to change your tune because you show up better for others when you put yourself first.  It’s win-win for everyone!

Consistency is the key to making affirmations effective. Repeat them daily and often — you can set the tone for your day in the morning, during moments of doubt to regain focus, or at night to seal your day with positivity. You can say them aloud and write them in a journal.  Or both. It is especially helpful to put your affirmations where you can see them often, like on your mirror or as a screensaver. This will reinforce them when you are not saying them as part of your daily routines.

Written by the American theologian Reinhold Niebuhr, the Serenity Prayer is more relevant than ever.  Whether you’re familiar with it or hearing it for the first time, its simplicity and depth have the ability to bring comfort and clarity, especially during times of uncertainty or stress.