Have you been quietly asking yourself, Now what?

For years, you knew what to do.  Your role was clearly defined. You showed up. You handled things and you kept going. It was all about being responsible and you were in it for the long game. 

And yet, many women tend to blame, complain, and feel ashamed, even if they’re not fully aware of it.

If it feels like your thoughts are harsher in midlife, you’re not imagining it.

Many women already feel frustrated physically and emotionally, and they are questioning who they are. To make matters worse, they are hyper critical of their worth, their life choices, and even their relevance, which can be a constant reminder of all the changes going on in their lives and those around them.

What you may not know is that your brain is not wired to be kind. It is wired for survival.

How can we love ourselves if we don’t recognize the woman in the mirror?

Midlife is a time when your brain, body, responsibilities, and identity shift over time. No one is really talking about it but they are definitely feeling it.

Many women feel disconnected and frustrated with their appearance. Their clothes fit differently. They have the daily reminder that they are not only making mental shifts, they are also experiencing physical shifts in their bodies, skin, and hair. Research from the National Institute of Health supports the fact that many women suffer from body image issues as they go through menopause.

I see this a lot in women who are very capable. They get stuff done because it is easier than asking someone else to do it. And they’re overextended because they don’t want anyone to feel disappointed.

Over time, being the dependable one can turn into being the one everyone depends on.

Many women stay in their jobs too long. Their role has become part of their identity: the seniority, the benefits, the predictability. It might look like the good life, but it’s a dead end.

Our son is graduating from prep school in May.  When I graduated, it was called “commencement.”  I think midlife is a commencement too.  As our children’s school days come to a close and our roles as mothers change, we can find closure with that part of our life, and we can begin again too.  We can finally take care of ourselves. 

Midlife isn’t a crisis.  It’s an opportunity to reimagine your future.