The Space Between Numbing and Becoming

I spent decades going through the motions, doing what I thought I was supposed to do, without any direction. 

I was the good wife. I was a good helper. I took care of my family. I got it done, whatever it was. I was dependable. 

I was so out of it, I didn’t even know I was lost.

My wake-up call came on New Year's Day. I was lying on the floor, staring at the ceiling, feeling the weight of every choice I had been making for years. Not just the night before but the years before. I was stuck. I was dutifully showing up, but at the same time I was on a hamster wheel and I was exhausted, irritable, and unable to focus. And bored.

I was available, capable, and always saying yes to everyone but myself. I was trying to hold it together. 

I didn't fully understand how much I had been carrying. I was suppressing more than I realized. I had lost my father. Then a dear friend of twenty years. We had shared so much in those years that I didn’t know what I would do without her. And then, over the course of about four years, my mother drifted away slowly with dementia. This was the woman I spoke with every single day. My best friend. My biggest cheerleader. She eventually stopped talking. And then she died.

I was numb. I didn’t stop. I kept going. I was grieving, running on empty, and most evenings I was pouring a glass of wine to take the edge off. One glass became two. Scrolling became binging. It was Groundhog Day every day.

I decided to stop drinking on that New Year’s Day.  

When I stopped drinking, something shifted. Each morning I woke up with a clear head, I began to feel what I had been numbing for years. I started seeing a therapist. I began a gratitude practice. I got curious about my habits and what was driving them. And I slowly started feeling better and realized what was important to me.

I was curious and open to learn. I went back to school, pursued a coaching career, and developed the routines and the foundation that helped me feel like myself again. I am the happiest, healthiest, and most fulfilled I have ever been.

If any part of my story sounds familiar, you are exactly where you need to be.

If you are the woman who is running on empty, giving everything to your family, career, aging parents, and/or your community, it’s ok to take care of yourself too. 

If you have made success your singular focus, and now you feel invisible and stuck, it’s ok to have dreams and figure out what you really want to do.

If your children have left home and the silence has given you space to think and explore your options, this is the time to do it. When I was bemoaning being an empty nester, my friend told me this is the time when you can say Yes to everything! Sounds good to me!

I am not a traditional life coach. I am a Midlife Mentor.

I am here to observe, listen, and ask questions that help you uncover who you are now and who you are ready to become.

The work we do together is guided by my signature framework: Awaken. Becoming. Claim It!

In Awaken, we shine a light on where you are and what has been keeping you there. In Become, we build the life, the identity, and the habits of the woman you are becoming. And in Claim It!, you own it. Fully. Boldly. Unapologetically.

This is one-on-one advisory work. Each session is designed to accommodate each client’s needs. It is a deeply personal experience.

I do this work because I have been exactly where you are. And I want you to know that what is waiting in your becoming is more beautiful than you can imagine.

It is never too late. And it starts with one decision.

Are you ready?